The journey continues.

It's been more than a year since our adoption and I haven't posted in a while because there have not been as many 1st's to talk about.  We have celebrated a lot of milestones and don't see all the little changes that are definitely going on.  One change I have noticed lately is that he is overcoming some of his fears.  He never liked to go upstairs by himself no matter how many lights were on. Now he will occasionally go into his room by himself and rush downstairs excited because he was "brave."  He is also becoming more self confident in conversing with other people.  I asked him one day what he was doing as soccer practice because he'd been standing still and he said, "Mom, I was talking." We still have some trouble communicating but he never gets upset only a little annoyed as if I weren't very smart since he had already told me that. 

He has become "Americanized" in some of his habits such as leaving his clothes sticking out of drawers and acting like I had asked a very hard thing by asking him to dry dishes.  This from a kid who a year ago took great enjoyment from folding his clothes neatly (very neatly) and helping with every little chore available. He has started speech therapy and like any kid is motivated by games and candy.

The thing that stands out to me the most is that Evan is a great example of how the past does not have to pull you down or be a crutch.  Go forward with what God has given you now and get excited by all the little blessings in your life....like spicy noodles.

Now in 3rd grade.

Evan is nine.

My 9 year old twins.

1 year anniversary

  June 13 - the Anniversary of Evan's gotcha day!!!!!  I always thought 13 was lucky.  The year has gone so swiftly and I wish I could hit rewind sometimes and relive our 1st 2 weeks together because it was an incredible experience.  I still am amazed at how God put the desire for Evan in our hearts and brought each detail into place at the proper time.  I asked him today if he was happy when we came to get him and he said "yes, in china I have no mama, no baba, no pool, no animals.
    Physically he is getting stronger each day.  Last week we took the training wheels off the bike and he rode all on his own.  Disregard the pink bike, as he didn't want the training wheels off his bike, but decided to try with a spare we had in our barn.  He is also swimming like a fish, climbing trees and playing sports.  Emotionally he now shows pain which he didn't originally.  He has a hard time when someone leaves(aka: brother going to college; cousins going home). When he first had blood work, he barely flinched, 2 weeks ago he had more and he screamed when the nurse walked in the room: now that's progress :)  We are having a speech evaluation done next month as his language seems to be lagging according to the OT at children's hosp. but I think he just needs more time.
     The greatest gain is his love of God; he knows Jesus died for him and willingly prays and sings at church. When I tell him that God led us to him he asked what took us so long.  He harbors no ill will for his early life and is an open and loving boy.  I know God has great plans for him.

    Dan and I have a burden to see others adopted; we are starting a non-profit group called Be The One to advocate for the 13 million orphans who have no one to care for them. (more on this later)
I've always loved being a mom, however now I call it a priviledge!

Nine months

     I have recently looked back at pics of us in China and it is hard to fathom the development that has occured in less than a year.  Evan has grown so much physically and mentally.  I think his leaps and bounds are due in big part because he is home with us all day and every moment there is the opportunity to speak to whatever is on his mind.  We still have some difficulty in communication but he is now employing spelling simple words in order to help himself over this.  If I don't understand something, he will begin to spell it and though he doesn't know how to spell many words, all the phonics is beginning to sink in and he gets close enough that I can decipher what he means.  I am astounded by this and so many other little things.
     There are times when I have to ask him if he knows a word forgetting sometimes that his vocabulary is still growing.  I'll say something and then ask, "Do you know what terrific means?"  He often says no and then I explain.   He now asks "what are you doing?" and "I have an idea" or "it's a good idea" or my favorite "I have no idea"  I was trying to explain what dreams were the other day and he wanted to know why we dream. 
     Emotionally, he does not like when I leave him, which is a good indication of attachment.  He also is wanting to be more independent and this also shows growth.  I am so thankful that he allowed me to "baby" him for as long as I have.  Our time with our children is so short and his seems shorter still, yet because of the shortness of time, each moment becomes more precious and is cherished.  The cuddles and playtimes are being stored up in my heart because I know they will soon be gone.

     I am finding out more about his life in the orphanage and some of it is quite disturbing, yet God has made me the person to listen and help him process his pass life.  I want to cry but I will wait till he is ready to work through this and then we can cry together.  I know God is doing a mighty work in him and in us as a family.  Evan will say 'thank you for Jesus" now in his prayers and though I know he is mostly copying my prayers to hear him say that makes my heart swell.

Eight Months of Evan

It's been 8 months and looking back over some pictures I can see how far he's come.  He is much stronger. Last summer he could hardly push a pedal on a bike and 2 days ago he rode up our road a little way, which is uphill, all by himself.  He has become a teaser, testing our how far he can go "as a joke."  He'll call me "daddy" and Dan "mother" etc.  I can now decipher almost everything he says and we have had some good conversations about God and heaven.  The other day he said, "how you know people go heaven when die?"  I am amazed that he is putting so much together.  He is so trusting and loving giving me kisses when he has a moment of deep satisfaction in something.
   On the medical front,  he had to have another tooth pulled as he had an abcess.  Since our communication has improved, I thought it time to introduce him to the tooth fairy or more to the point -leave your tooth, get a dollar.  Since he had 2 pulled in sept. and had a certificate from the dentist he received 3 dollars.  This made up for the pain of the pulled tooth.
     His new phrase this month is "it's my favorite."  He says this about food, toys, dogs, etc.  My "favorite" is when I asked him the other day why he was following me around the house and he said, "following you, my favorite."

Blessings

Imagine my surprise when I opened up a link someone sent me to an event that happened at Shanghai Children's Home in October 2010 and saw my son's sweet face!  Not only was there one picture, but six.  Thank you Lord for yahoo groups.  I have searched countless photo albums that are posted by families who get to visit the home or have pictures sent through groups who do that sort of thing.  I have never been lucky enough to see my son among them.  Evan was also excited to see these and told me about some of them.  It appears that an agency/business (probably one that donates money) went to the home and threw a birthday party (photo op). There were six kids in the pictures of the party.  I believe Evan was chosen because his birthday is in October.   I can not fully explain what it feels like to be given the gift of your child's history. Let's just say "Awesome"   I also am glad to know that at some point in his life someone made a big deal of his birthday.  There were gifts which he said he got to keep.  There was a picture of him playing with one of the toys, but no pictures of him eating cake.  I hope he got some although from the looks of it I'm not sure I would want a piece.   



He is making great strides in his learning and has begun to read small words.  He is working on a Dick and Jane book and is very proud when he gets the words right.  Now when something funny happens he'll say "funny, funny Sally," to which Avery will reply "don't call me Sally."    He has also picked up the phrase "nevermind" and told me today he would call me mother only it comes out mudder. 

God is doing amazing things!

Merry Christmas

  This is belated since it is now Jan. 6 however I am just now catching my breath. Actually the Christmas season was wonderful.  We never do too much and just having all the kids home and baking, wrapping, decorating is enough.  We had our annual Christmas Eve skating at Fountain Square and got to enjoy it this year with Rosie and the Northcutt family.  Evan enjoyed the hot chocolate more than the actual skating ( it was starbucks) except when connor would race him around.  Evan took all of our traditions in stride and I think he would have been happy with anything on Christmas morning.  He followed the other kids lead and opened his stocking first and then was more interested in handing out the gifts he wrapped for family then opening any for him. 
  His new words this month are People; he said "I love you people" at bedtime and told the girls -"you people be quiet"  He also says "whole bunchee"  as in a lot of something.  If he's hungry, he wants a whole bunchee.  And the most common thing to hear him say now is "don't tell me what to do"  He tells this to Avery as Avery has repeated this to him on many occassions when Avery forgets the rules/manners and Evan reminds him. (this drives Avery crazy prompting the above).  He's tried this on me a few times and i have to remind him that's what mommies do.  

    Everyday continues to be a miracle - thank you Lord for letting me be a part of this.  We have also been blessed to see the beginnings of a transformation in Avery.  The last few weeks have been full of healing for him and the competition is mellowing into a brotherly comraderie.  I tuck Evan into bed at night, listen to his prayers (thank you for snow, christmas lights etc.) sing to him, teach him a new song and he says "see you tomorrow"  Yes, and for the rest of your tomorrows. 

five months home

    Alright my kids are tired of my obsession with all these anniversaries but how can I stop when I know he has missed so much.  This month was his first Thanksgiving. We celebrated with a mud football game and lots of food. He had 2 older brothers come back home and though you wouldn't think he would be that tied to them, he whooped and hollered with the rest of us.  He knows they will wrestle and throw him around; all things little boys love. 
     Evan has begun to talk about china and though the language barrier is still somewhat difficult, he can share some of what he exerienced.  He usually starts out "in dong hai (China)..... I never know if it is something he did or saw but I'm glad he is sharing.  He has used the term dong hai mama a few times (meaning one of the ladies or maybe multiple ladies) to tell us about something in his life. yesterday he talked about all the babies being fed.    He knows about christmas trees and when I bought him a stocking he said he had one in china (who knew).
     His english is getting much better with him putting 3 words together and I expect that in another month we will be communicating much easier.  He never got frustrated with me when I didn't understand chinese, however he does get frustrated when he speaks english and I don't understand.  I can't blame him it's just that so many of his words sound alike.  

      He remains a loving, happy boy; sometimes spontaneously kissing me and saying "love you, love you" then I am overwhelmed with the priveledge of having taken this journey and I thank God over and over that he brought us to this place.  He loves to help cook and bake and gets upset at the girls when they don't want his assistance.  He and Avery remain best buddies and fierce competitors.  he is very sensitive when he feels he did something wrong either in behavior or school and I sense a type A.